We can get discontent with things. We want a better house, car, guitar, gaming system, phone, etc. It’s easy to struggle with wanting what we don’t have.
But discontent with things pales in comparison with discontent with people.
Here’s why. No matter how much money I have or how many resources I employ, other people will always do something slightly different than what I want. Oftentimes, totally different!
So, if we are dependent on the cooperation of others for our contentment, then we are in for a bumpy ride.
That can be really hard. We want people to like us. We need love. We are concerned about the people for whom we have some responsibility.
So, how can we be content when people don’t cooperate?
I believe the Apostle Paul gives us some guidance in what he wrote about contentment in Philippians 4:10–13.
In that passage, he says that he has learned to be content whatever the circumstances. He has learned not to base contentment on what happens outside him but on His relationship with God, which is totally secure.
The context for his statement is thanking the Philippians for their gift to him. What he says, though, is that while he is very glad about the gift, he’s OK if he doesn’t get their gift. He’ll be content either way.
Let me suggest four perspectives based on Paul’s teaching that will help us be content when others won’t cooperate.
First, recognize that other people can’t make you happy. The Apostle Paul rejoiced when people blessed him, but he was OK if they didn’t because they weren’t the source of his happiness. If you think other people are the basis of your happiness, then you are in for disappointment. Your happiness is not in another human being but in God.
Second, recognize that you aren’t other people’s savior. The Apostle Paul started the church in Philippi. However, he said that it was “[God] who began a good work in you” and that God would carry it to completion (Phil. 1:6). How people turn out is not ultimately up to us.
Third, recognize that we can make a contribution to people’s lives. Even though Paul entrusted the Philippians to God, he believed that he could make a contribution. He prayed for them. He wrote them a letter to remind them of the things God had taught him. Then, he committed them to the Lord. We should do the same.
Fourth, recognize that learning to be content when others won’t cooperate is one of the hardest lessons we will learn in this life. However, we can achieve contentment because “I can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength” (Phil. 4:13). That’s a famous verse. Athletes apply it to sports, but the original context refers to God’s power to make us content in spite of our circumstances.
That’s good news. We can still have joy and peace, even if others don’t cooperate.