Keeping Sane and Productive in an Insane World, Principle #2: Ask, what can I not do today that I could do if I worked at it for five years?

Over the years, I have found myself struggling and not able to move forward. After reflection and prayer, I have come to certain principles that helped me keep going in the midst of leading a congregation, raising seven kids, earning three degrees, trying to be involved in the community, and trying to make my mark on the world. Here are some of the principles that I have found to keep me sane and productive in an insane world.

Principle # 1: Ask, what can you not do today that you could do if you worked at it for five years?

“I wish I would have learned to play the piano when I was young.” That’s a statement I’ve heard from many people over the years.

My question is, why don’t you learn now? Probably for the same reason you didn’t when you were a kid. It’s a lot of work, and there’s other things that you’d rather do that give you more pleasure right now.

This is certainly not to say that it can’t happen. I have seen innumerable people grow, learn, and change in big ways.

I also believe in the grace of God. Change is not simply up to us. God is not just letting the world go to hell in a hand-basket. The God of the Exodus and the Resurrection still intervenes to liberate people from darkness and bring them into glorious light.

Sometimes change happens in a flash of insight. Sometimes people just walk away from destructive pathologies and never return. But usually, change is hard and time-consuming, though worth it.

Our body, brains, and relationships work hard for equilibrium. Busting out of that equilibrium will result in a thousand forces working to pull you back.

Change of our character is like learning to play an instrument. It is hard, and it takes time. But if you can work at it, it is a really good thing that can provide you with tremendous meaning and enjoyment.

How People Change
So, what can get you up and sailing out of the doldrums? I think there are really only two things apart from a miracle.

First, there is significant suffering. When things are going well, we generally don’t examine ourselves. Winning blinds us to all the things that could have made us lose. Losing can enable us to reflect on what we could do better. We grow based on that knowledge and experience. I say “can” because it does not always work. Not everyone learns from suffering. But when you experience extreme suffering and come out the other side having processed it well, then you are a stronger person. You have grown.

Second, there is a compelling vision of your future. I am indebted to Jordan Peterson for this point (see his Self-Authoring program here). I have thought about growth a lot, but I had never thought of it in terms of a long-term vision. I had thought of it mostly in terms of goals and means on a week to week basis. I did not have clarity on how a long-term vision should shape our week-to-week implementation.

What Peterson says is that we tend to do what is easiest and most pleasurable in the moment. So, we need a compelling vision to move us past the easy enjoyments of pop culture as well as the more destructive pleasures that tempt us. The compelling vision consists of a positive and negative. The positive is the good that we could be and do. The negative is the disasters that we could experience if the evil within us runs wild. In that way, we get fear and excitement working for us: the excitement of achieving goals and the fear of not achieving them.

The Key Question
One way I like to think about this is, what can I not do today that I could do if I worked at it for five years? What would I need to do every day and week to get there? For example, you may not be able to run a marathon today. However, if you are reasonably healthy, you could do it if you worked at for five years (and probably in less time). If you have that vision, you can begin to set weekly and monthly goals that will get you there in the long-run. In addition, you will learn and experience more by aiming at something than you ever would by just going with the flow. It will help you grow in all sorts of other ways.

Another example. Maybe your relationship with your children is somewhere between bad and mediocre. If you want to have a great relationship with your kids, one of the worst things you can do is to demand a good relationship now. Instead, picture that relationship 5 years from now. Then, ask, how do I need to relate to them every day and every week to transform our relationship into what I’d like it to be? Our best relationships are long-term projects. Taking the long view can help us improve our relationships.

Challenges to Keeping at It
It’s hard to keep at something for a long period of time, waiting a long time for the results. How do I avoid the discouragement of being so far from my goals? I have been helped by this quote from Jordan Peterson: “Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday” (this is principle # 2). If we look at others, we get discouraged. If we look at where we were yesterday, we can be encouraged and challenged. Just focus on doing things better and getting closer to your goals day by day and week by week.

What if you don’t achieve your goals? Won’t you have wasted your time? The process of working at them is healthy in itself and will pay all sorts of dividends elsewhere. You basically can’t lose by working hard at a long-term vision or goal. Even if you’re never able to run a marathon, you will be healthier and stronger by aiming at one. Plus, you’ll learn a lot in the process.

How can you add this to your already busy schedule? It won’t work that way. As you see the vision, you will start to say “no” to things that you used to do before. For example, if you have a vision for playing the piano, make progress, and enjoy it, it will become easier and easier to say “no” to TV and Facebook and YouTube and a host of other good things that could consume your time but might not make you much better. If the vision is compelling, it will compel you!

Conclusion
When I look at my life, I am happy to have accomplished many things. What I don’t want to do is rest in what I’ve already done. I want to do more and be more by God’s grace. I want to be better. That’s where the real adventure of life lies. The alternative is just to slowly fade over the rest of my life. It’s easy to follow that path.

So, what can you not do today that you could do if you worked at it for five years? Implementing that vision will be hard and time-consuming but worth it. So, why not pick something and get at it? Working at something like this will help keep you sane and productive in an insane world.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I hope it was helpful to you. What do you think of this idea? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comment below. If you like this post, you can subscribe on the sidebar (laptop) or below (mobile). I hope I will see you here again. God bless!