What can help keep us sane in an insane world? Play, especially with our kids.
Over the years, I have found myself struggling and not able to move forward. After reflection and prayer, I have come to certain principles that helped me keep going in the midst of leading a congregation, raising seven kids, earning three degrees, trying to be involved in the community, and trying to make my mark on the world. Here is principle #4 (not in order of importance) for keeping me sane and productive in an insane world.
Principle #4: Play with Your Kids Every Day
There are so many duties that call us. There are so many things that distract us. There are so many things that keep us busy. It’s easy to forget the positive duties we have that are not as urgent in the moment. That’s what led the great missionary and explorer David Livingstone to say, “I have but one regret and that is that I did not feel it my duty to play with my children as much as to teach” (Cited in Niall Ferguson, Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power, 105).
Playing with your children is like a respite from the world. It changes the dynamics of your life. It changes your relationship with your kids. It is a blessing to your kids, but it is also a blessing to you. It lets go of the anxiety of the world, builds connection, and invests in the next generation.
What if you don’t have kids? Then, find a way to play. Play with your dog. Play with your grandkids. Play a sport.
How Playing Helps
When I taught the youth of our church, I tried simply teaching them. It was a challenge. One time, I did a game before we started. The results were amazing. They were much more attentive. You just had to have the game. The game was the way of connecting and made the teaching go down better.
Edwin Friedman tells about one of his counseling experiences that illustrate the power of play. Billy’s parents brought him in for counseling because he was misbehaving and acting up. Friedman saw the whole family. One thing he observed was that the father was always getting down on Billy about keeping things clean. Friedman advised him to get down on the floor and play with Billy. The results were remarkable. “Within a week of father being able to get ‘down on the floor’ with this kids, instead of watching over them in an effort to keep it clean, Billy ceased his ‘delinquent’ behavior, and the parents began to work at their marriage” (Generation to Generation, 110).
For me, it has often been difficult to disengage from my work and engage with my kids. I’ve not always done it perfectly. However, this principle kept calling me back. When I did it, it was always a blessing for my kids. When I did it, it was always a blessing for me.
Conclusion
This principle is simple and powerful. We all know it is right. We just have to make it a priority in spite of our busy-ness. We have to make time for what Henry Wadsworth Longfellow called “Children’s Hour.” He wrote:
Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day’s occupations,
That is known as the Children’s Hour.I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet,
The sound of a door that is opened,
And voices soft and sweet (read the rest of the poem here
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