Recently, I was traveling through rural Indiana and stopped at a McDonald’s for breakfast. There was a group of older men talking and laughing. They were clearly from the community, knew each other well, and met there all the time. It’s meetings like those day after day, week after week, and month after month that develop those deep, deep friendships. Unfortunately, we cannot meet Jesus at McDonald’s tomorrow morning, so, how do we form a deep, deep friendship with Him?
Fortunately, Jesus’ disciples faced the same problem, and Jesus gave them a solution. They had been with Him more than those men were together at McDonald’s. They generally ate breakfast, lunch, and supper together and travelled together all over Israel. Jesus told them that He was going to go away, into the very presence of His heavenly Father, but that wasn’t going to be the end of their friendship. Understanding what Jesus told His disciples about continuing their friendship can help us understand what it means to have and develop a deep, deep friendship with Jesus in our day.
Let me highlight five ways they would continue developing their friendship with Jesus. For more context, see my previous post, “Five Lessons on Friendship from the Life of Jesus.”
First, they would continue to fellowship with Him through His presence, even if it was not the physical presence of His human nature. The Holy Spirit, the third person of Trinity, would connect them to the eternal Son. “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you” (John 14:16–17). In this way, He said, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (v. 18). So, we can still enjoy the presence of Jesus. We can enjoy it whenever we want to. We just have to be aware of it and live in it.
Second, they would continue to fellowship with Him by listening to what He said. He describes abiding in Him as “abiding in His word” (15:7). He told them that He had already told them what He was doing, “I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (15:15). We can fellowship with Jesus by continuing to listen to what He wants us to do.
Third, they would continue to fellowship with Him by doing what He told them to do. Part of friendship is doing things together. We learn what Jesus is doing by listening to His Word, and we engage in it when we obey that word. That’s why He said, “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (15:14). I don’t think Jesus is saying, “Do what I tell you, and then you will be my friend.” Rather, He is saying, “If you are interested in the things I am and are engaged in them, then we will have a friendship.”
What does this mean concretely? Jesus is interested in culture, family, politics, honest labor, etc. When we engage in these things, we are engaged in activities He cares about. Similarly, when we care about the people around us, espeically those who are most vulnerable, we are working on Jesus’ agenda and engaged with Him as friends. It is especially when we are enagaged in the work of connecting people to God that we live out a friendship with Jesus because that’s what He is most interested in. That’s what His coming into this world, death, and resurrection are all about. A friendship arises when we share and work at Jesus’ interest in connecting people to God.
Fourth, they would continue to fellowship with Him by talking to Jesus. We often call this prayer, but prayer is really just interacting with Jesus by listening to Him and then telling Him what is on our hearts. Jesus said He had chosen them so that they would ask things of Him and the Father, “so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you” (John 15:16). We can continue to interact with Jesus through prayer. We can and should share with Him what is on our hearts.
Fifth, they would continue to fellowship with Him by connnecting with His friends. Jesus concludes His talk on friendship with them by saying, “These things I command you, so that you will love one another” (John 15:17). Just as the Father loved the Son so that the Son might love us, so the Son loves us so that we might love one another. Whatever we do for the least of Jesus’ disciples, we do for Him. We interact with Jesus by interacting with His people.
Let me try to put all this together. We can live as friends of Jesus. We do that when we are aware of His presence with us. But we need to do more than just be aware. We need to listen to Him and talk to Him in conversation. Friendship is not primarily about talk, though. It is about doing. When we take an interest in what Jesus is interested in and engage in it, we will develop a friendship with Jesus. This is not just about “me and Jesus.” This is something we do together with Jesus’ other friends.
Sure. This is different than living with someone physically, but we actually can have a friendship with Jesus that is much closer and more intimate and life-giving than what we have with any of our friends. That’s the blessing Jesus offers us. If we are interested in that relationship, Jesus is more than happy to “call us friends.”
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Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash