Calibrate Your Emotions to Reality

Emotions drive our lives. They are powerful forces that can impel us towards good activity. Unfortunately, they can also impel us toward destructive activity. Some of our best decisions and some of our worst decisions came out of strong emotions. Does it have to be this way?

Throughout the ages, philosophers, psychologists, and religious leaders have contemplated the problem of emotions. Here is a summation of their key finding: calibrate your emotions to reality. As Thomas Aquinas says when it comes to courage, “Hence it belongs to fortitude that man should moderate his fear according to reason, namely that he should fear what he ought, and when he ought, and so forth” (Q. 126, A. 2, 1718).

Our emotions may reflect reality, but they also may not. We do not need to take them at face value. Concretely:

  • If we are scared, it does not mean there is a real threat.
  • If we are sad, it does not mean that we have lost something.
  • If we are angry, it does not mean that there is an injustice.
  • If we are joyful, it does not mean that things are going well.

The reverse is also true. Continue reading “Calibrate Your Emotions to Reality”

Enjoying a Relationship with God Forever – A Summary of the Christian Faith

What is Christianity all about? Why are people so interested in it? Why do people give their lives for it? Why do more than a billion people follow it? Here is my brief summary of the main points of the Christian faith and its significance.

God
When we talk about the Christian faith, we begin and end with God Himself. Most people of the world believe there is a God, and that is the standpoint from which we begin.

When we think about God, we know that He is far greater than us. He made the earth and the heavens in all their splendor and variety. He made the complexity of our cells and the vast expanse of the universe. He’s far greater than we could imagine.

He is also good. We see this in the beauty of the universe, in the amazing provision this world offers us, and the way we can enjoy so many good things in this world. God has made this world so we can know Him and experience good things.

God is also holy. This means that He is pure in every way. He wants us to be pure. We all have a sense of right and wrong that we did not invent and that we cannot just dismiss. This is our conscience. We all have a sense that right and wrong is not just a preference or something convenient for us. Instead, it comes from our Creator, requires us to do right, and points us to the holiness of God.

Humans
When we think about humans, one thing we know about them is that they are created for God and to connect with God. They can know who God is. Within us all is a sense that we can pray. We also have a sense of God’s commands and that we are to live before Him. We are created to connect with God. Continue reading “Enjoying a Relationship with God Forever – A Summary of the Christian Faith”

9 Powerful Quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our nation was formed with the idea that all people were created equal. However, from its inception, there was a glaring contradiction to that principle in the enslavement of African-Americans. We fought a war to bring an end to this contradiction, but even after the war, justice and equality were denied to African-Americans throughout the nation and particularly in the South. For prosperous Americans, it was too easy to ignore this injustice. Thanks be to God that He raised up Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and many others to compel this nation to pay attention to this injustice and seek to right it. Here are 9 quotes from Dr. King that powerfully describe the conditions African-Americans faced, the method he would use to confront those conditions, and the vision of new conditions that he wanted to bring about.

All of these quotes are taken from The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. compiled and edited by Clayborne Carson. I highly recommend it.

The Problem

1. “My mother confronted the age-old problem of the Negro parent in America: how to explain discrimination and segregation to a small child. She taught me that I should feel a sense of ‘somebodiness’ but that on the other hand I had to go out and face a system that stared me in the face every day saying you are ‘less than,’ you are ‘not equal to'” (3).

2. “A man who lived under the torment of knowledge of the rape of his grandmother and murder of his father under the conditions of the present social order, does not readily accept that social order or seek to integrate into it” (268).

3. “The throbbing pain of segregation could be felt but not seen. It scarred Negroes in every experience of their lives. . . . This Freedom Ride movement came into being to reveal the indiginities and the injustices which Negro people faced as they attempted to do the simple thing of traveling through the South as interstate passengers” (153).

The Method

4. “The way of acquiescence leads to moral and spiritual suicide. The way of violence leads to bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers. But the way of nonviolence leads to redemption and the creation of the beloved community” (134). Continue reading “9 Powerful Quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”

Reflections on the United States After Visits to Egypt and Mexico

This year, I was blessed to spend two weeks each in Egypt and Mexico. It was the first time in 25 years that I had travelled outside the United States or Canada. My major takeaway from my trips to Mexico and Egypt was a new appreciation for the blessings we enjoy in the United States. The U.S. has its weaknesses, to be sure, but we have a lot of strengths, and our prosperity allows us the resources to work on our weaknesses. What are those strengths?

Before I talk about America’s strengths, let me talk about the strengths of Mexico and Egypt. First, let me talk about Mexico. I knew that Mexico is more prosperous than many Americans think. I went to Cancún and Guadalajara. Guadalajara is right in the heart of Mexico. It is surprisingly prosperous. Its plazas or shopping centers can rival or outdo those of the United States.

One day, an Uber dropped me off near a lower-end plaza. I was waiting for a friend to finish with a meeting. So, I looked for a good place to wait. I was there by the road, and I looked across the street. There was a Starbucks, just one of many that I saw in México. I was actually standing in front of an Autozone. Down the street, there was a Denny’s, because a Grand Slam is a Grand Slam in any language. Walmart and Sam’s Club were everywhere. Mexico is more like the United States and more prosperous than one might suppose.

What is striking about México is the insecurity. Every house seems to have high walls. There is often barbed wire on the top of the walls. Nevertheless, I talked to numerous locals, and they assured me that it was safe to walk in the street during the day in Guadalajara. I had no problems as I did so, though, admittedly, I only did this a couple of times.

In terms of economic conditions, Mexico and Egypt are somewhat similar. The dollar goes a lot further in those countries than it does back home. Egypt did not seem as prosperous as Mexico, though. The conditions seemed more challenging (see this interesting comparison here).

What struck me most about Egypt was the friendliness of people. Everyone was ready to connect with you and be your friend. People would greet you with kindness. For example, I would ask them if they were having a good day. All over, they would say things like, “I am having a good day because I get to see you.” Now, the cynic in me was tempted to think that this was because of American money. However, three things showed me that this was not the case. First, I observed that they always treated each other with the same warmth. Second, when we stayed at a hotel during the celebration of the Feast of Eids, we met numerous upper middle class or upper class people. They were just as friendly as the poorer people had been. They took us under their wing and wanted to be our friends. Third, in Mexico, Melinda and I met two Egyptian women who lived in the United States and were vacationing in Mexico. They were the same way, they wanted to connect with us and were happy to be friends with us. I’ve never been to a place where it was easier to make friends. Continue reading “Reflections on the United States After Visits to Egypt and Mexico”

5 Perspectives to Get Us Unstuck

We’re about to start a new year. It’s time to think about new goals, new activities, and new habits. The trouble is, we often end up stuck in the same old ways of doing things. We start something new, and resistance sets in. It’s like we’re walking through deep mud and trying to climb up a steep bank. It seems like everything around us wants to keep us in the same old ruts.

The ancient philosophers of the Western world dealt with big abstract ideas, but they also thought through these common problems. I have found that they offer some ways to help us think differently about common problems that offer new perspectives. They are alternative perspectives on common problems that can help get us unstuck.

1. Change of habits takes time. Aristotle says “. . . men acquire many qualities neither by nature nor by teaching but by habituation, bad qualities if they are habituated to the bad, good if the good” (Eudemian Ethics, 1.1).

My comment: we look at many things we can’t do and think that we cannot do them because we cannot do them now. Aristotle observes that many things involve work over time, habituation. So, it would be better when looking at most things we cannot do to not say, “I cannot do that,” but rather to say, “I cannot do that today.” We can acquire new skills. They just take work over time.

2. How you think will determine how you live. “Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind, for the soul is dyed by the thoughts” (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.16).

My comment: the way that we think about things has a strong effect on how we feel about them. However, we can think differently about things and so feel differently about them. For example, we may look at mistakes as a disaster, and so we get angry at ourselves. However, we can think differently. We can accept that mistakes are a normal part of the human learning process. This makes it easier to keep going. That’s what these alternative ways of thinking are all about. If our thoughts shape the character of the soul, we can change our thoughts and consequently the character of our soul. Continue reading “5 Perspectives to Get Us Unstuck”