Category: Keeping Sane & Productive in an Insane World

The world conspires to make us crazy, stuck, and unproductive. How do we keep sane and productive?

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How to Structure Your Day and Week to Connect with God

Connecting with God won’t happen by accident. We’ve got to be intentional.

The good news is that we can structure our day and week to connect with God. This can give us strength and refreshment in the midst of the daily grind.

Two ancient practices help us understand how to structure our lives to connect with God: the daily office and the Sabbath. I put these together based on the teaching of Peter Scazzero in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.

The daily office refers to structuring your day around connecting with God. It refers to the practice of Christians throughout the ages who have read the Bible, meditated, sung, and prayed at set times throughout the day.

I think this practice can really help us in our busy, distracted lives. The key thing is to take what we already do and add short or long moments of connecting with God. Here are some examples:

  • Getting up ten minutes early to pray and read Scripture.
  • Listening to songs of praise while you shave or shower.
  • Praying with your children before they go to school or work.
  • Memorizing a Scripture passage or verse on the way to work or school.
  • Read a psalm and pray at the conclusion of your work time.
  • If you have a job where you work with people, pray through the people you work with.
  • Get a Bible app on your phone and have it send you a daily reading.
  • Have a meal time with all or some of the members of your family, and conclude it with reading the Bible and prayer.
  • Take a walk and observe nature around you, lifting your heart to the Lord.
  • Read a book at lunch time.
  • Have a regular phone or in person meeting with someone who will encourage you.

I wouldn’t suggest you do all of those things. Just try doing one or two of these things regularly instead of randomly. Make these practices a rule of thumb for yourself. Making them a rule helps ensure that we will actually do them. Urgent things tend to push out the most important. We have to fight for the important things. Also, we sometimes don’t feel like doing things in the moment that we should. The rule helps motivate us and keep us on track.

Don’t make your rules too iron clad. For example, if you didn’t pray before work one day, don’t worry about it. Do it the next time you go to work! A rule is meant to help you, not discourage you.

The Sabbath refers to our weekly structure. God commanded in the Ten Commandments that we would take one day in seven to set aside our normal labors and find delight in Him.

Most Christians observe a Sabbath to some degree. They also often incorporate other weekly practices that help them connect with God such as a Sunday School or small group. Some may have regular informal meetings with other Christians.

Think about your week. What are key things that could help you keep on track spiritually and connect with God? Schedule those in. That is the principle of Sabbath applied to our week.

Adding little times to connect with God throughout our day and longer times in the week can really help us find the joy and peace that God intends for us to have. Short times are less daunting, and they can be more regular. This keeps us connected to a refuge for our souls throughout the day. As Peter Scazzero explains in his book, the daily office and Sabbath can improve our emotional health and build our relationship with God. When we connect with God, we can be less frantic and more joyful. It just takes a little planning.

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How to Find Lasting Joy

Life can so easily get us down. Most of the time we ask, how can we survive? Lasting joy seems utterly out of reach.

The Stoics were a group of people in the ancient world who sought to find lasting joy while living a normal life. They wanted to move past depression, anxiety, anger, worry, and all the other negative emotions that often dominate our lives.

The Stoics were not, contrary to the common misconception, proposing that we be emotionless. They wanted to experience the blessing of positive emotions and minimize the impact of negative emotions. As the Stoic Seneca (4 B.C.–A.D. 65) wrote in his Letters to Lucilius: “Above all, my dear Lucilius, make this your business. Learn how to feel joy” (Letter XXIII, 55).

In this article, I want to explain how the Stoics suggested that you could find joy and then compare and contrast it with a biblical view of joy based on 1 Peter 1:3–9.

With so many hard and even awful things, how did these ancient writers think that you could find joy?

1. Let go of unnecessary negative emotions. According to the Stoics, there are many things that keep us from lasting joy that do not need to. For example, most of the things we worry about never happen and are not even likely to happen. We get nervous even when things are going well. As Seneca said: “The mind at times fashions for itself false shapes of evil when there are no signs that point to any evil” (XIII, 28). Even if bad things could possibly happen, “It is indeed foolish to be unhappy now because you may be unhappy at some future time” (XXIV, 57).

2. Don’t seek your joy in changeable things. People, pleasures, and places can bring us joy. However, if they are the ultimate source of joy, then we will inevitably lose that joy when we lose those things. Seneca put it this way: “For his joy depends on nothing external and looks for no boon from man or Fortune” (LXXI, 190). For example, if our joy depends on our business doing well, we will lose our joy when our business fails. If our joy depends on laboring honestly, then we have a source of joy that is independent of circumstances (or fortune).

3. Re-interpret suffering and hard things. The Stoics did not seek out suffering. They believed that one could live a virtuous life in spite of suffering. They also saw that living rightly in the face of suffering could actually strengthen a person. Seneca compared learning to live virtuously in the face of suffering with training to fight well:

The only contestant who can confidently enter the lists [i.e., engage in the conflict] is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever (XIII, 26).

Responding well to suffering strengthens our character, and that is just one of the many ways we can reinterpret suffering to de-fang it.

4. Find a source of joy independent of fortune or circumstance. For the Stoics, that source was within oneself. Seneca said: “Do you ask me what this real good is, and whence it derives? I will tell you: it comes from a good conscience, from honourable purpose, from the right actions, from contempt of the gifts of chance, from an even and calm way of living which treads but one path” (XXIII, 55). Living rightly and responding well to what happens is something you can always do and that fortune and circumstance can never take away.

I think there is much to commend the Stoic perspective. We should let go of unnecessary worries, not found our joy on changing things, see the benefit of suffering, and find a joy independent of our circumstances. In my view, there is a large overlap with the Christian perspective, but there are important areas where our faith takes up the good insights of Stoicism and provides a much more solid context for lasting joy. Consider this in light of 1 Peter 1:3–9.

1. Christianity like Stoicism calls us from placing our joy in changeable things. Peter recognized that this world would bring us suffering and take away from us things that we value and find joy in: “You may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials” (1:6).

2. Christianity reinterprets suffering in a way similar to Stoicism. Suffering builds character. 1 Peter 1:7 is a bit difficult to translate, but the point is that suffering is like fire that makes your faith shine forth. When Jesus Christ is revealed, it will result in praise, glory, and honor.

3. Christianity finds joy in our character. We rejoice in the salvation of our souls, of who we are as human (1:9). We are being re-made, and this is something the world cannot take away from us. What is truly valuable that we possess? Our faith. It is of greater worth than gold (1:7).

4. Christianity finds joy in a relationship with Jesus. Here is where Christianity puts us on much better ground than Stoicism in finding lasting joy. There is a relationship with someone that is not changeable and is a source of continual affirmation and love. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy . . .” (1:8).

5. Christianity finds joy in the hope that all things will turn out well. Again, Christianity here redeems the insights of the natural world. It promises a world where the suffering we experience will be eliminated. It provides us a certain and unalterable hope that does not change based on circumstance. We have been born again into a new hope and an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade. “In this, you greatly rejoice” (1 Pet. 1:6).

Stoicism represents one of the best human attempts to find lasting joy, and it is one from which we can learn much. As the Church Father Tertullian said, “Seneca is often one of us.” However, our faith provides us with a source of joy that is far better than anything the mind of man could have imagined: virtue based on God’s powerful transformation, a relationship with someone who will always love us, and a hope that will not disappoint. That is a sure ground for lasting joy, if we can learn to see it.

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The Messages We Tell Ourselves

Behind our emotions are stories. We tell ourselves messages that shape our hearts and minds and actions.

These messages may drive us forward, messages like “you have skill,” “you can learn,” “you will be alright,” “people like you,” “God will take care of you,” and so on.

Other messages keep us from moving forward: “you are not valuable,” “you are incompetent,” “you will lose everything,” “people will not like you,” “you will be alone,” “you won’t have resources,” and so on.

It’s not always easy to know what these messages are. They are often buried so deep that they are not readily available to our consciousness.

Here’s one example from my own life.

My wife is a homemaker, and, throughout our married life, I have often been frustrated with the state of the house. It has taken me a long time to understand the message I am telling myself: I can’t be OK if the house is in disorder. This, of course, is not true, but it’s what I’ve told myself over and over.

Thinking a bit more about this message, I started to wonder where that message came from. My personality is inclined to want an orderly environment, but I dug deeper. I realized my Mother was a very orderly person. I regard this as a real virtue. She kept the house in virtually perfect order. I grew up expecting that this was how the house would be. Without my effort, the house was just always magically in order!

Then, I started thinking about my wife. She is much more tolerant of chaos and disorder than my Mother was. She can function very well with things being disorganized and stuff being everywhere. I actually regard this as a real virtue as well, one I need to grow in!

There is another difference between my Mom and my wife. My Mom had two children. My wife has seven! It’s just not going to work out the same way, no matter how much we may want it to.

The seven children show a great variety in their toleration for cleanliness and order. I have one daughter who is able to function in conditions that would drive my crazy. Below is a picture of the work conditions in which she made clothes for her dolls. I really admire her ability to adapt to almost any condition!

All these reflections have helped me change my attitude about the house. Instead of frustration, I can even feel admiration for how my wife holds things together and is able to do so well in the midst of so many distractions in our house.

How was I able to get there? I had to take time to really think through the message that I was telling myself. I had to peel back the layers and see something of what was going on in my mind and heart.

I think the first step in the transformation of our character and mentality is beginning to ask, what is the message I am telling myself? Then, we can evaluate its truth and value.

The messages we tell ourselves shape our lives, but we they don’t have to be. We can discover what these messages are and choose to tell different ones. In my view, this is one key to learning to live a different and better type of life.

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Can We Change for the Better?

Can people who are fearful become courageous? Can those who are impatient become patient? Can the joyless become joyful?

To that, I answer an emphatic “yes!!!”

Here’s why I think this is true. First, I studied family systems over the past couple of years. I read many stories of people who were able to function differently in the challenging emotional environment of their family. It was hard, but they did it.

Second, I studied the Greek and Roman philosophers. Through the study of philosophy, many people were able to change for the better. They could learn to live by principle rather than by whim or reacting to emotional pressure.

Third, people train their emotions and will in many areas of life. People can learn to keep their body moving forward in the face of great danger. The philosopher Seneca described this well: “[T]he body can be trained to such a degree of endurance that it will stand the blows and kicks of several opponents at once and to such a degree that a man can last out the day and resist the scorching sun in the midst of the burning dust, drenched all the while with his own blood . . .” (Letters, LXXX).

He then goes on to ask: “[I]f this can be done, how much more easily might the mind be toughened so that it could receive the blows of Fortune and not be conquered, so that it might struggle to its feet again after it has been laid low, after it has been trampled under foot?” (Ibid., emphasis mine). In other words, can we not change our mindset to be able to keep moving forward in the face of great difficulties and disappointments?

As a Christian, why do I not argue for change from Christ transforming people? I certainly believe in the power of God in the lives of individuals. I have observed it in my own life and the life of countless others. I find, however, that many people underestimate what God can do because they don’t see that change is possible in ordinary life. In other words, if people can change so much without Christ, how much with Him?

So, “Great,” you might say, “some people changed. But how can I do it? How can I change?”

The first thing to recognize is that it is hard work. This is true in the realm of nature and the realm of grace. Sometimes, there is supernatural intervention that radically transforms people, but more often than not, it takes hard work. God uses hard work to transform people (Phil. 2:12-13, 2 Peter 1:5).

But what kind of hard work? John Ortberg in one of his talks at a conference called Living in Christ’s Presence asked the people attending that conference, “How many of you could run a marathon right now?” There were a couple. Then, he asked, “How many of you could run a marathon if you tried harder?” Of course, no new people raised their hands. Often, we think that change is a matter of trying harder. It is not. It is about the right training over a long period of time.

This is more than a loose analogy. The Apostle Paul used the word used for training in the gymnasium in his day and said, “Train yourself to be godly” (1 Tim. 4:7-8).

What does this training look like? In sum, developing virtue involves a changed mindset implemented in action over time that becomes a habit or character trait.

How would this work? let’s take patience as an example. Ask some questions of yourself: what are the circumstances in which you act impatiently? Does impatience help you? What are the results? What are you afraid of that causes you to be impatient? Developing a better mindset includes confronting a wrong mindset.

The positive side is to impress on your mind the better ways of thinking. To discover that you can ask questions like, what helps me be more patient? What thought or mindset has helped me be more patient in the past? What would be the positive benefit of patience? And so on.

Then, you need to practice. Put yourself in situations where you will need to be patient. Try to slow down and be OK with with it. Most of us have opportunities for this every single day: driving. We can work on being patient while we drive.

Over time, such work will begin to take effect. That doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect or problem-free. It just means you’ll get better.

That’s virtue training, training for excellence of character.

I believe that we don’t have to settle for where we have been in the past. I believe change is possible. God has given us everything we need for a godly life. We just need to step out in faith and start moving. His power, promises, and presence will be with us every step of the way.

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Discerning God’s Will for Your Life

Who should I marry? What job should I pursue? Should I move to a new place? Should I switch churches?

When we think of discerning God’s will for our lives, these are the questions we often think about.

The irony of these questions is that the Bible has little to say about them in general and, of course, no specific answer to them. The Bible does have wisdom on these subjects, but they are not major themes.

Why, then, do we bring in the subject of God’s will when it comes to making choices about our life situation?

Perhaps one reason is that we believe that happiness and the good life hang in the balance with these decisions. We believe that we need the right job, church, spouse, or home to be happy.

But what if our happiness does not depend on them? Could it be that God says so little about these decisions because He has a different view of what a happy life is? Could it be that God does not believe our happiness is rooted in what job we have or what school we attend?

God does have a different view. The Bible has a lot to say about discerning God’s will, but it relates primarily to the type of people we are. I believe that God’s view is that our happpiness is rooted in what type of people we are not in ourward circumstances.

For example, God gave the Ten Commandments as an expression of His will for our lives. These commandments speak to what type of people we are. They call us to put God first in our hearts and lives. They call us to live patient, chaste, temperate, just, and honest lives. According to the Bible, these qualities are what makes us good, happy, and blessed.

This means that whether we live in Michigan, Great Britain, Australia, Africa, or North Dakota, the primary factor in our happiness is not these places or the people in them. It is the type of people we are in those places. As the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote in his <em>Meditations</em>: “Where a man can live, there he can live well.”

If we are the type of people that God wants us to be, then we can be happy whatever the circumstances and whatever the situation. If we love God above everything else, then we have access to Him in any job, place, marriage, or school. Faith in God’s goodness and love for us enables us to say: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want” (Phil. 4:12).

We should not doubt that God wants us to be happy. The trouble is that we pursue things (even good things) that will not get us there. Happiness is not found in the circumstances and people in our lives. It is found in God and His love for us. It is found in being the type of people God wants us to be. The result of being what God wants us to be is joy and peace that enables us to love God and humans well.

God’s will for us is to be happy, and He has told us the way. It is by becoming the type of people who reflect His glory by how we live. There is no question or debate that this is God’s will for our lives. It is not that hard to discern. Living it is the challenge, a challenge we can only meet by God’s grace in Christ.

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