Category: Keeping Sane & Productive in an Insane World

The world conspires to make us crazy, stuck, and unproductive. How do we keep sane and productive?

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Moving Beyond Happy Meals: Asking the Bigger Questions

It’s easy to live our lives and ignore bigger questions. Most people only ask bigger questions when something shakes up their world such as the death of a spouse, serious financial loss, or a life-threatening illness.

These “bigger” questions are the fundamental questions of human existence. They unite all human beings because all human beings have to confront them. They are always just the under the surface of our daily interactions.

They are questions such as these:

  • Why am I here?
  • Am I significant or valuable?
  • What is my purpose in life?
  • What is the best way to live?
  • What do I think of death?
  • What is the best way to live?
  • What will make us truly happy?
  • What is right and just and good?
  • Who or what is God?
  • What is success?
  • How much is enough?
  • What is the significance of other people?
  • How did the world come to be?

These and many more questions like them are the fundamental and most important questions of human existence.

Even if we do not think much about them or answer them with a great deal of clarity, we do have answers to these questions that we live by. For example, we all want to feel that we are valuable. Most of us base our value on what we do or what people think of us. As a result, our feelings of value fluctuate based on how well our relationships are going or whether or not we are doing something we deem valuable. If a relationship ends or our ability to work diminishes, then we can face a serious crisis of identity.

When it comes to the best life, the world around us presents answers to that question that fill our minds. The corporate world basically tells us that the best life is going to Disney World on vacation and eating meals at McDonald’s. That’s what will make us happy. Happy meals!

The corporations of the world make money based on the very powerful desire of each of us for immediate pleasure and comfort. We all have a sort of default to seek our immediate comfort and pleasure. It takes thought, imagination, and discipline to seek any good beyond these things.

The question is, are these things really the things worth pursuing? Do we really need more stuff? Will vacations truly satisfy us? Is eating out truly the best way for humans to enjoy life? Is there a higher and ethical purpose that cannot be easily marketed? What about God? What about people?

Even if we have bigger answers to these bigger questions, it’s not easy to put them into practice. We may believe that we are valuable because God values us and loves us. However, when humans reject us, we feel like we have no value. It’s hard to live by the answers we have thought through.

Now, this may change if something in our world shatters apart. This is often the driver to change. But we don’t need to wait. We can be intentional about asking the bigger questions, seeking to change our mindset to be more in accord with our answers, and then begin to implement the results of our thinking. We have minds and hearts that can move beyond the daily routine into something bigger, so why not do it?

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Not Worrying About Finances

I’m a strong believer in budgeting and savings. You either tell money what to do, or it gets spent. You don’t accidentally save money.

That said, I’ve also learned that when it comes to household finances, unexpected things always come up. Three areas suck up money the fastest: vehicles, houses, and health. I’ve often felt very good about my cash reserve only to deplete it with a new transmission, unexpected health problems, or plumbing bills.

It’s in those times of unexpected bills, when your cash reserves start to dwindle, that you begin to worry (and maybe earlier!). I’ve worried quite a bit about finances over the years. Trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for everything is stressful!

A couple months ago, I was studying Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero with a church small group. As we began one meeting, I asked, what is it that can really disturb your peace? One person answered: “Finances.”

After some conversation, I asked, “How many bills have you not paid in the last five years?”

This person said: “I can’t really think of any.”

I replied: “Then, maybe it’s not really something to be worried about.”

After saying that, I thought of my own worry. I asked myself: In spite of all the surprises, how many bills have you not paid? I thought for a while, and I couldn’t really think of any. I might have forgotten the due date for a bill, but I didn’t miss paying for lack of money. It made me ask myself: Is this really something I need to worry about?

I am a Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ. Jesus explicitly told us not to worry about these things because our heavenly Father would take care of us (see Matthew 6 and the Sermon on the Mount). In my own case, God has not only said He would take care of me, but He has done so over and over again, often in extraordinary ways.

Reflecting on our small group discussion reminded me of something that happened 14 years ago that I had never really appreciated. After college, I worked, lived at home, spent little, and saved money. Then, I got married, went to seminary, had two kids, and spent all the money I had saved.

When we arrived in Spearfish, SD to take my first job as a Pastor, we literally ran out of money. We had nothing left. The savings got us all the way through seminary but no further.

At this point, we were not facing starvation. We could have eaten beans, taco shells, and pasta. But we didn’t have much else. Making our new home comfortable and exploring our new location was going to have to wait.

I don’t think I told anybody about our situation. However, out of the blue, our deacon came over to our house. He gave me a handful of cash and said that the congregation had collected it to help us in our move. I was stunned. We now had what we needed to make it to our first paycheck. God provided, not just for our bare necessities but for other things for our blessing and comfort as well.

We have experienced many things like this over the years, but this story is particularly precious to me because it occurred at a time when I had so little. Reflecting on this has given me greater confidence in my heavenly Father’s will to provide for me and take care of me.

Can I say that I won’t worry about finances again? No, but because of the small group discussion, I will combat financial worry with new and better weapons. I may worry, but I don’t need to.

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How to Not Miss the Good Things in Your Life

Our brain is like velcro for the bad but teflon for the good. We let bad things roll around in our head; we quickly move on from the good. Ever since I learned this simple yet profound point from Rick Hanson, I have made it my ambition to do a better job of taking in the good (for more detail on Hanson, see my article on his work here).

According to Hanson, many of our mental struggles result from simply not taking in the good things already present in our lives. For example, we can spend hours thinking about how someone criticized us. We spend hardly any time thinking of the compliment someone gave us. We think a lot about bills we might not be able to pay. We think very little about all the bills we have paid. Such distorted thinking is bound to make us more anxious about people and finances.

How do we start to balance this out? How can we do a better job of taking in the good things that are already part of our lives?

Here are a few thoughts.

Journal. On January 14, 2018, I started writing a weekly review, and I have continued this practice to the present time. Every time I do it, I walk away with a different view of my week than the one I began with. I go through my calendar, and I note the people I spent time with, the things I accomplished, the pleasures I enjoyed, the good experiences that I had, and the things I learned. By the end of this exercise, I realize that my week was much better than I thought it was when I sat down to write.

Linger. When you experience something good, take it in for a few seconds. Thank God for the good things that you have received. Don’t just drink or eat. Fix it in your mind for a few moments and give thanks to God. Don’t quickly move to the next thing.

Share. This week, I’m preaching about Moses’ father-in-law Jethro from Exodus 18. In this passage, Moses tells Jethro all the good things the Lord has done in the exodus from Egypt. Jethro is delighted to hear it all. We all need friends with whom we can share the good things in our lives. This gives us both the memory of something good as well as the enriching connection of a human relationship.

Celebrate. After Moses told Jethro about all the good things the Lord had done for them, they celebrated. They offered sacrifices to God and enjoyed a meal together with the leaders of the people of Israel. We can do the same. When something particularly good happens, celebrate it. Enjoy a meal and talk about it!

Write. One way to linger over things is to write about them. This year, I threw one of the best parties I’ve ever thrown: a celebration of Burns Night (read about it here). The reason I wrote the article was to relive this wonderful event and to share it again with the friends who were a part of the celebration. It was one more way of taking in the good and remembering all the good things God has given me.

Taking in the good has helped me not to miss the good things that are already in my life. I have seen firsthand that when we take in the good, we can live more fulfilled, joyful, and peaceful lives. And all these things are right there for the taking! We just have to take them into our hearts and minds and enjoy what God has given us.

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Courage

In the movie The Lord of the Rings, the soldiers of Gondor have moved back to the second level of defenses in the face of Mordor’s onslaught. Something unknown is banging at at the gates trying to get through. Then Gandalf says, “Whatever comes through those gates, you will stand your ground!”

What if we could approach every day like that? Whatever comes out the gates today, I will stand my ground?

What if we could face the scariest situations with calm and thoughtfulness without even losing our joy?

For many, this seems like an impossible goal, yet this is our calling as humans and Christians. Doing what is right and good and just is our duty and calling no matter how challenging or scary things get. This takes courage.

So, why are we so afraid? Why do we have so much anxiety? Why do we fall apart every time there is something difficult or unexpected?

Well, have we really worked at it? Have we really tried to become courageous people? And, what would it look like to work at it?

Let’s begin by considering what courage is.

Courage requires threats. It’s no virtue to move forward when things are easy. Entering into a contest you will easily win is not courageous.

Second, courage is not being rash or imprudent. Entering into dangerous situations just for fun is foolish not courageous.

Third, courage is not lacking fear. Fear and anxiety are natural human responses to threats that can even be helpful when the threat is real. To be anxious about riding a boat into a lightning storm on the lake is a good thing.

So, what is courage? Courage is being able to move forward in the face of our fears. Courage is saying I will do my duty even though it’s hard. Courage is holding to our principles when others want us to compromise. Courage is staying in a difficult place when we need to. Courage is being able to keep our head and heart when we face real threats.

If courage is so useful and good, then how do we develop it?

Let me give you four suggestions.

First, think about your principles. What are the things that you stand for? What things will you not compromise? What are your basic principles? What would you fight for? What would you die for?

Second, think about your threats. Don’t fear what you don’t need to fear. An astonishing number of threats that we feel on a day to day basis are either imagined or remote. For some reason, I’ve always freaked out over spilled drinks. I have seven kids, and so it’s happened a lot. Then, one day, a year or so ago, I realized: this is not a real threat. It’s not something to be afraid of. I can easily clean up the spill. Over time, I’ve learned to have less or no anxiety over spills. It’s been better for me. It’s been better for my family.

Third, think differently about scary situations. See yourself standing firm. Think about what would calm you when you are afraid. A Christian has a lot of resources, but one thing God always says when He calls people to difficult tasks is: “I will be with you.” That promise can fortify us in challenging situations.

Fourth, test your courage in small situations. Learn to say “no” when you think you should and are afraid to. Learn to gently share your opinion, even when you fear that others may react strongly. Learn to say “yes” when there’s no real reason to be afraid. We can train ourselves in the small things to have courage when the bigger threats arise.

Courage is not an option. The Bible tells us: “Be watchful. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong” (1 Cor. 16:13). However, it’s not only a command. It’s a good way to live. It means that we can go forward and do our duty and experience joy even in the face of the hard and scary realities of life. If doing what is right is good, courage is what enables us to do it at all times, even when it’s scary or hard.

Courage, my friends!

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Don’t Be Afraid

“Don’t be afraid.” That’s what the angel told the women who had come to Jesus’ tomb only to find it empty.

A few moments later, these same women met Jesus. “Don’t be afraid.” Jesus told them.

Don’t be afraid. The first words after the resurrection.

It’s not really surprising for two reasons. First, in the biblical revelation, this always seem to be the first word: Fear not! Second, we are a fearful people, and so we need this reassuring word.

Two of my daughters both recently bought a guinea pig (read a story about this here). They are adorable and fun to watch, but they are also very nervous. With the slightest movement towards them, they will scurry off into their little house. They are filled with anxiety and fear.

The more I’ve watched these guinea pigs, the more I’ve realized: we’re guinea pigs! We’re just like them.

Anytime anything surprises us, we start worrying, withdrawing, or attacking. Why? We have anxiety. We are afraid.

What happens anytime we get an unexpected tax, car, home, or health bill? Like guinea pigs, we start scurrying. This happens to me all the time. When I think over the past decade, I can think of very few times, if any, where I’ve failed to pay a bill. But as soon as I get a bill that I didn’t plan, what happens? I start to worry and think, Oh no! What am I going to do?

“Don’t be afraid.” Jesus says.

And what do we fear? We fear all kinds of things. We fear all sorts of threats from terrorists, world powers, and armies, like people feared the Roman army in Jesus’ day.

If there are any human beings that didn’t seem guinea piggish, it was Roman soldiers. These guys were the toughest of the tough. These soldiers would not stop in face of the most terrible enemies. One time, the great general Hannibal destroyed 80% of a Roman army at the Battle of Cannae. The soldiers at the front escaped because they would just keep moving forward no matter what. The problem was the tactics. They couldn’t turn well during the battle and so got surrounded and destroyed. Once Scipio Africanus developed new tactics for the Roman army, these tough Roman soldiers crushed the Carthaginian Empire. Roman soldiers were disciplined and tough.

However, when the angel of the Lord came down to roll away the tomb appearing like lightning, these tough Roman soldiers fell to the ground like dead men. The most powerful army of the day faded away before the awesome power of the resurrected Christ and His army.

Don’t be afraid, even of the most powerful army on earth!

And what about death? In many ways, this is the anxiety behind all anxiety. But Christ has defeated it! He appeared before the women having conquered this great enemy. So, when we face our great enemy, we don’t have to fear either. The Christ who is with us has already met death, looked it in the face, and crushed it.

Don’t be afraid.

And what about Jesus Himself? Encountering someone so powerful who conquered death can itself be a scary thing. That’s why the women were full of joy at the news of Christ’s resurrection but also terrified (Mt. 28:8). How can you relate to Him? I think that’s the main reason Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid.” He wanted them to know that as powerful as He was, He was the same Jesus who did not break a bruised reed or put out a smoking wick.

When Jesus talked with the women, He said, “Go, tell my brothers” (Mt. 28:10). It’s a touching term. They are part of Jesus’ family, and we can be, too. We don’t have to be afraid. Jesus welcomes all of us into His family as a free gift. We just have to say “yes” to it. Then, we can be baptized into the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (Mt. 28:19) and be assured that Jesus will always be with us.

That’s the message of Easter. Don’t be afraid. Christ has come. Christ has risen. Christ has conquered. Don’t be afraid.

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