The Secret to Contentment

Have you ever had a big event where you expected a lot of people to show up? You planned for a Bible study and had 25 people tell you that they would come. Then, only 5 showed up. You planned an anniversary party for 100, and only 50 showed up. Disappointment.

Getting involved with people can be disappointing. The Apostle Paul was involved with a lot of people. He was dependent on people to give him money to fund his work.

We might expect that when people didn’t give what they had promised, he might have been frustrated. He wasn’t. He had learned the secret to contentment: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Phil. 4:11-12).

Most of us walk around thinking that we would be happy if other people would change. If my kids would act differently, if my spouse would show me respect, if my employer was more understanding, if I had more money, if I had a better car, if I lived somewhere else, I’d be happy.

The trouble with this approach is that things outside of us will rarely match up to our expectations inside us. So, we’ll always be unhappy.

There’s another option. We can adjust to our circumstances. That’s the secret to contentment that the Apostle Paul had learned. Continue reading “The Secret to Contentment”

Struggling with Greed

Struggling with greed. It’s something that most of us do not do. For most of us it’s probably just sitting there unnoticed.

I thought of this as I considered Ephesians 5:3: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” As a Pastor, I’ve had a lot of people talk to me about issues related to sexual immorality, but I’ve had very few (if any) come to me and say, “I’m struggling with greed.” It just doesn’t seem to be on our radar.

As I think of my preaching, I think that most Christians on the right of the political spectrum would resonate with my affirmation of traditional Christian sexual ethics. However, if I spoke on greed, I would probably have to do it very carefully to avoid misunderstanding.

On the other side, if I spoke to Christians on the left, they might resonate with what I’m saying about greed, but I would be very careful in my explanation of Christian sexual ethics.

The Bible teaches that both are serious issues. Paul insists strongly that there must not be “a hint” of these things and that the wrath of God is coming because of greed. In light of that, it seems that we would should be struggling quite a bit more against greed than we do.

In speaking with a friend, I realized that one issue here is that greed is more difficult to define. Sexual immorality refers to any sex outside of the commitment of marriage. But what is greed? Is it greed to want a better car? A bigger house? A bigger savings account? It’s hard to say. These things are certainly not wrong in and of themselves. Money, houses, and cars are not evil things. But can we want them too much? How do we know?

Let me suggest a few diagnostic questions that can help us know if we are being greedy.

1. Does the desire for or plans for obtaining new things consume our thoughts? If we are thinking about these things all the time, then greed is probably present. Having a vacation is not a bad thing, but if all our thoughts are, “When I get on vacation, I’ll be OK,” then we probably have a problem.

2. Is anxiety over not obtaining the things we want consuming our hearts? We not only desire to have good things, we worry about not having good things. For example, if we are worrying all the time about whether people will like us or want to be with us, then we are probably wanting it too much. Acceptance by others is a good thing, but it’s not ultimate.

3. Is thought of what we don’t have keeping us from enjoying what we do have? For example, is thought of a better house keeping us from enjoying the neighborhood or home that we actually presently live in?

4. Are our desires keeping us from our other obligations? For example, are we so consumed with work that we don’t spend time with our children, wife, or God? If so, perhaps you are wanting these things too much.

5. How do we feel when we don’t get what we want? This is perhaps the best indicator of a problem. When we get frustrated, worried, or unhinged when we don’t get what we want, then we probably wanted it too much. This is indicative of the presence of greed.

Let me turn now to consider how we can overcome it. If we see that greed and misplaced desires are an issue, what can we do to overcome it?

1. We need to let the Bible challenge us. It’s easy even for Christians to treat the Bible as an affirmation of our own behavior. We all need to be humble before God’s Word and let it challenge us where we are, even if change may be difficult.

2. Focus not just on reducing our negative desires, work on strengthening positive ones. The opposite of greed is thanksgiving. The more we can enjoy the many good things God has already given us, the less we will be greedy for more.

3. Speak to someone about your struggles. Ephesians 5:13 says, “But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” This means that we need to let in the light in order to experience healing. If you don’t have someone with whom you can share your deepest struggles, it’s imperative that you find someone. Conversations with a trusted friend bring light and healing to the darkest corners of our lives.

4. Let Christ shine on you. “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you” (Eph. 5:14). The more and better we get to know Christ, the less power our destructive desires will have.

The darkness of unbridled desire does not have to dominate our lives. We don’t have to stay in the darkness. Christ, the light, is risen, and we can be healed through His light!

Myers Briggs Simplified Into Four Temperaments

I find personality tests too confining and too alluring. It’s easy for me to put everyone and everything in a box, but I can’t stand being put in a box. Of course, that’s just what you’d expect from an INTJ.

The Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator derives 16 different types from four preferences symbolized by eight different letters (extroverted or introverted [E or I], sensing vs. intuitive [N or S], thinking vs. feeling [T or F], and judging vs. perceiving [J or P]). From these, you can derive your personality type, such as INTJ or ESFP.

For a long time, I resisted taking the Myers Briggs personality test, even though everyone said it was helpful. When I finally did take the test, I was quite shocked at how right they were. It helped me lean into my strengths, see my weaknesses clearly, and sort out relationship differences.

You can take the test here or here.

Since I took that test, I’ve talked to dozens of people about Myers-Briggs. I’ve also found that the 16 personality types, while helpful, can be a bit overwhelming.

David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates wrote a classic on the Myers-Briggs types (check out their book Please Understand Me here). One thing I would like to give greater exposure to is their simplification of the Myers-Briggs types into four temperaments. By temperaments, they simply mean that there are four categories of four personality types that have much more in common with each other than they do the other 12 types.

The four temperaments are based on two letters they share in common in the personality type indicator. Here are the names of each with the letters they have in common: Guardians (SJ), Artisans (SP), Idealists (NF), and Rationals (NT). Allow me to briefly explain each temperament (see also the descriptions at keirsey.com).

The SJ Guardians include ESTJ, ISTJ, ESFJ, and ISFJ. This is the most common type, close to half of the population. They are the guardians of tradition. They are committed to duty and engage in service to those around them. They are loyal.

I have really come to appreciate the Guardians. They are the ones who will volunteer and make sacrifices. They will be consistent when others aren’t. They will make plans and carry them out well for the ones they love and care about.

The SP Artisans include ESTP, ISTP, ESFP, and ISFP. The Artisans are about action. They can be just as intelligent as other types, but they learn more by doing and repetition than by thinking through plans and principles. They often become the most skilled at doing things because they enjoy the doing of them, so I sometimes call them “the doers” rather than Artisans.

This category is probably the most fascinating to me because it includes my opposite (ESFP) and is least like me. I always wondered how musical artists could perform the same songs over and over and over again. If I had to do that, I would probably die of boredom. The Artisan, however, loves the performance. They are wired to enjoy doing it again and again. That’s why they can attain great skill without even seeking to attain it. It’s not practice but the love of performing and doing that gives them that enables them to accomplish amazing things.

The Intuitive (N) types are much rarer than the Sensing (S) types. They represent the only set in the eight letters that is significantly imbalanced in the population (roughly 3 to 1).

The NF Idealists include the ENFJ, ENFP, INFJ, and INFP. These are the poets, the novelists, and the crusaders. They are devoted to causes. They look beyond the surface to find the greater purpose and meaning of life. Their quest is for authenticity.

The idealists will go to almost any length for the people and causes they care about. They know how to take the common things of life and turn them into things of beauty, style, and grace. Without the idealists, we would have few novels or lasting expressions of the highest human sentiments. They devote themselves to the higher purposes of life and often fill the ranks of human services and religious organizations.

The NT Rationals include the ENTJ, ENTP, INTJ, and INTP. They look beyond the surface to see how things work. They are the scientists and the engineers. They look for the causes behind things and the way to categorize reality. Keirsey & Bates suggest that their main interest is “[t]o be able to understand, control, predict, and explain realities” (48).

I am one of them, so I’ll make one small criticism. We are Rationals, but that doesn’t mean we’re the smartest. We may be able to explain astronomy, but sometimes we’re so dumb we don’t have any idea that we were completely ignorant of how people felt about what we were talking about! On the positive side, the rationals can consider a lot of details, find the patterns in them, and organize new ways of putting them together. They come up with strategies and new ideas that can benefit others.

These are the four temperaments of Keirsey and Bates. I have found them pretty helpful in explaining some of the ways people interact around me. People are more than personality type, but I find that a remarkable amount of human behavior is colored by these temperaments.

And how can Myers-Briggs and the four temperaments help us? It can help us appreciate the differences. I can appreciate the service-mindedness of the SJ, the active nature of the SP, the authenticity of the NF, and the rational inquisitiveness of the NT.

Understanding these temperaments can also help us learn to accept ourselves. People do sometimes look down on others because of their differences. We may have thought that we were weird or had something wrong with us because we are, for example, introverted. Instead, we can realize that the way we are is just another way of being human, and that’s good! Each temperament has important contributions to make, including yours!

Encouragement for Those Who Feel Helpless

I began this week feeling a bit helpless. I was struggling with a cold. It’s one of those colds where it’s not so bad you have to lay down, but you’re not sure if you should go full steam ahead and risk making it worse.

Because of that, I felt a little bit helpless. For me, the feeling of helplessness is the feeling that you have when you feel that you don’t have the power or strength to do the things you need to do.

So, I started working on my sermon. This week, my sermon is on the work of Jesus Christ as outlined in the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians (15:1–11) and in the Apostle’s Creed. The Creed states that we believe in one Lord Jesus Christ who was “conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate . . .” It concludes with the confession that “He will come again to judge the living and the dead.”

I began to think about each statement of the creed. I was helped in this by remembering the Heidelberg Catechism.

I was first introduced to the Heidelberg Catechism when I attended a Reformed Church during college. In many Reformed Churches, they still preach through this catechism roughly every year.

A large part of the catechism is a series of questions and answers about the Apostle’s Creed. Here are few examples:

Q & A 38. Why did he suffer “under Pontius Pilate” as judge? A. So that he, though innocent, might be condemned by an earthly judge, and so free us from the severe judgment of God that was to fall on us.

Q & A 39. Is it significant that he was “crucified” instead of dying some other way? A. Yes. By this I am convinced that he shouldered the curse which lay on me, since death by crucifixion was cursed by God. . . .

Q & A 49. How does Christ’s ascension to heaven benefit us? A. First, he is our advocate in heaven in the presence of his Father. Second, we have our own flesh in heaven as a sure pledge that Christ our head will also take us, his members, up to himself. Third, he sends his Spirit to us on earth as a corresponding pledge. By the Spirit’s power we seek not earthly things
but the things above, where Christ is, sitting at God’s right hand.

I had never really thought much about these sorts of details before I studied the catechism. In addition, I began to see how each thing Jesus does is for us.

As I remembered all this and began putting this together in my sermon, I realized that I didn’t need to feel helpless. Jesus is alive. He has ascended to heaven and is reigning. He is interceding for me at the right hand of the Father. He is for me and wants to partner with me in bringing the effects of His reign into this world. Not helpless at all.

It all reminded me of a statement by Presbyterian Pastor Dr. Lloyd John Ogilvie: “We are not a powerless minority in the face of evil. We can change the course of history, we can alter the trend of evil in our society, we can liberate people–if we will pray in the name of Jesus Christ.”

I found myself so encouraged by meditation on what Jesus has done and is doing for me, I thought, “I should think about this every day.”

On New Year’s Resolutions (With a Few of Mine)

Me at the cemetery of my Keith ancestors, a partial fulfillment of one of my resolutions (see below)
I’ve talked to a few people recently who’ve said that they don’t like New Year’s resolutions because they never do them.

I can understand that, but I would really encourage people to make New Year’s resolutions.

Resolutions are about thinking about life and being proactive rather than simply reactive and going with the flow. If we simply react and go with the flow, we will probably miss out on a lot of things and take the path of least resistance.

Making resolutions is about walking with our eyes in our heads (Ecclesiastes 2:14). King Solomon advises his son Solomon: “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways” (Prov. 4:26). Making resolutions is about giving careful thought to how we live.

A couple suggestions on making New Year’s resolutions.

First, I try to think of my goals along the lines of Jesus’ growth as recorded by Luke: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man” (2:52). From this, I take four categories: spiritual, social, physical, and intellectual. To this, I might add things that I want to do just for fun (though I could probably fit those into the four categories above).

Second, when I make goals, it seems best to me to make them as specific as possible. For example, “Stay in touch with my Grandma” is probably not a very good goal. “Text Grandma everyday” is a good goal (this was a resolution one of my daughters made, completely without my prompting, I might add).

Third, don’t give up because you fail. This is also one advantage of being specific. If you mess up, just keep going. If you forget to text Grandma one day, just text her the next day. If you don’t read the Bible one day, read it the next. Life is going to interrupt our goals. If you recognize that going in, you’ll be OK?

Finally, just make some goals. Think about your life. Don’t let life happen to you. Take charge of it and make things happen that you want to happen. Why should we not do that? Why be a slave to circumstances? Why not begin to change what you can change?

Here are a few of my resolutions:

  1. Don’t use computers or movies to relax in the evening except when doing so with other people. Instead, use fiction books.
  2. Go outside each day and work a little bit on my yard.
  3. Check the news and Facebook once a day only.
  4. Visit and tour the places where each of my grandparents grew up this year and see the places where they grew up and where my ancestors are buried (Note: partially accomplished already).
  5. Attend more worship services and church events in other churches.
  6. Connect individually with each of my children daily.

Reading over my resolutions, I realized that I need to follow my own advice on some of them and make them more specific. Thinking about our lives and what we want them to be is a continuous process.

At any rate, I hope in the next year to try and walk “with my eyes in my head.” Have fun making your New Year’s resolutions! “May the Lord make all your plans succeed” in 2018 (Psalm 20:4).