Category: Keeping Sane & Productive in an Insane World

The world conspires to make us crazy, stuck, and unproductive. How do we keep sane and productive?

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The Advantage of Listening More

Listening more can be a scary thing. If you listen more, you may fear that you will not be heard. You may feel that people will walk all over you.

A few weeks ago, I was having similar thoughts. I was seeing some ways that I should listen more, and I had a hard time embracing them. I had similar fears.

But the Bible is clear: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry . . .” (James 1:19).

One thing I noticed about myself was that I often can think about other things when people talk. Sometimes I am planning how the conversation should go. At other times, people say something that evokes an idea that I then want to think about or share.

The thought occurred to me in light of this, what if I stopped doing this? What if I just listened and didn’t worry about where the conversation would go? What if I just focused on what people said and received them passively?

My first thought was that I would lose something of myself. I did fear that I would not be heard or that I would not be able to speak or that I would lose my own thoughts.

In spite of this, I tried it. I just said that I would do my best to only listen and not formulate a response until the person was done speaking. It was an interesting experience.

Here’s what I found. I listened more, and I heard more. I learned more. I laughed more. And, I realized that I would still get to share my ideas. After I listened to people, people were more ready to listen to me. When people felt heard, they were more ready to listen. So, I had no problem sharing my own ideas.

In short, by listening more, I hadn’t lost anything and had gained much.

Besides talking with people, I realized that I often don’t listen to God. When I read the Bible, my mind wanders. The words evoke a thought. I can look at all the words or hear them without listening to them. I can even think of other things while I am reading out loud.

But you know what? Now that I am listening more, I am hearing more.

This is important because there is much more outside me that I need to learn than what I have inside me. Listening is the beginning of wisdom. It is an openness to receiving reality, God, and other people that will enable us to really grow.

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No More Wasted Years: In Defense of New Year’s Resolutions

Thanksgiving gives us an opportunity to see the good of the past year. Christmas enables us to see a source of joy that transcends our circumstances. New Year’s offers a fresh start. We’ve got a whole year ahead of us!

Two years ago, I made it my goal to sleep outside in a tent two nights out of the entire year. I didn’t do it. Two nights! That’s all I needed to fulfill that goal. Last year, I reviewed that goal, and I thought about how to make it happen. I decided to practice “camping” in my backyard. I would see what things I would need, how I could cook outside, and how to set up and take down the tent. Then, I’d be ready to do it out there. So, I made my goal of sleeping in a tent for two nights again.

This year, I slept in a tent nine nights. I practiced twice at home. I camped at a campground in the mountains by myself for two nights. I stayed at a KOA while travelling. I led a men’s camping trip for our church. I camped with my wife for the fist time on our 20th anniversary trip in Florida. That’s what resolutions can do. They challenge us to move forward and do things that we haven’t done before.

Have you ever experienced something like that in your life? How could you experience more of it? I’ve talked to a lot of people about New Year’s resolutions, and here’s some of the questions I’ve had and the answers I’ve given. These are my ideas on how to approach New Year’s goals or resolutions. I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below. Continue reading “No More Wasted Years: In Defense of New Year’s Resolutions”

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7 Things I Would Like to Have Told to 18 Year Old Wes

Recently, I was writing a letter to an 18 year old serving at a camp. This person asked for letters while they were there. It made me think, what would I have told myself at 18 if I could go back in time? I gave it some thought, and here’s what I came up with.

  1. Think about the big questions. Don’t just take for granted why you’re here and what you’ve been told. Think about it for yourself and try to understand reality, making your views your own.
  2. When you’ve thought through something, have confidence in your thoughts and move forward. At the same time, be kind and willing to listen to those who have different thoughts.
  3. Almost everything that is good in life takes work. Start as early as you can working on the skills that will serve you, bless others, and glorify God. These are things like friendships, spiritual growth, physical training, languages, and musical instruments. “Art is long, and time is fleeting.”
  4. Take advantage of the opportunities you have to see new things and experience new and different things. For example, travel will not get easier when you are older and have a family.
  5. Make God the first priority with your time, money, and energy. You’ll never regret it, and this is the thing that you were created for first and foremost.
  6. Closely related, always think through what you want to do with your time and money and be deliberate. You either tell your time and money what to do, or it will tell you what to do.
  7. Give attention to your emotional life. One’s emotions often (rarely?) reflect reality, so begin reframing the stories that you tell yourself that shape your emotions. Give attention to your emotional interactions with the important people in your life and learn to navigate them well.

Looking at my life, 27 years later, these are the things I would have wanted myself to consider at 18. God willing, I still have a lot of life in front of me. So, I’ll work to implement these things now.

What advice would you like to have given to 18 year old you?

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4 Mindset Shifts for Greater Peace & Productivity

Can we change and move forward? Sometimes it feels like we can’t change. We feel stuck. We feel like our emotions just are what they are. However, if there is one thing that the great teachers of the world agree on, it is this: people can change. We are not stuck in our current ways of looking at things. We are not stuck doing the same old thing. Humans have a capacity for change.

This question is particularly poignant in times of great stress in the international order like we are facing right now. In such cases, it’s easy to let our anxiety get the best of us. We may not be aware of it. What can help us maintain peace and productivity in the midst of the storm?

I have found some help for this in the writing of some ancient philosophers known as the Stoics. The Stoics weren’t perfect, but they wrote simply and clearly about some of the best of the ancient wisdom for living well.

They key to the whole process of change is this. The locus of change is not outside us. It is inside us. It is our judgments, how we evaluate things, that determine how we will live. How we think about sickness or death, for example, will determine how we respond to it. For example, the Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius says, “But I unless I think that what has happened is an evil, am not injured. And it is in my power not to think so” (Meditations, 7.14). He goes on to say: “If you are pained about any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it” (ibid., 8.47). It is how we think that determines whether or not something is bad or not. Of course, this is not about what we think at one particular moment. This is about our pattern of thinking. “Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind, for the soul is dyed by the thoughts” (ibid., 5.16). So, if we are going to be what we were created for, we will have to change our mindset.

What are these mindset shifts that can especially help us change for the better? Here I would like to set forth some general mindset shifts that can help us achieve the human telos, goal, or purpose. These mindset shifts are to trust the providence of God, focus on what is under your power, find joy in being human, and focus on living today.

First, trust the providence of God. Don’t just see the events as bad things that happen to you or things that are random. Instead, see them as coming from the good government of God. The philosopher Epictetus says that we should agree with the providence of God and not want anything other than what God’s government brings us. If someone leaves us, “Don’t wish at any price that he should continue to live with you, don’t wish that you’ll be able to remain in Corinth, and, in a word, don’t wish for anything other than what God wishes” (Discourses, 2.17). Seneca made it his habit when things went contrary to his desires not only to recognize that God wanted something different but to assent to what God wanted as the best decision. “‘Heaven decreed it otherwise!’ Nay rather, to adopt a phrase which is braver and nearer the truth—one on which you may more safely prop your spirit—say, to yourself, whenever things turn out contrary to your expectation: ‘Heaven decreed better!’” (Letter XCVIII). See everything as the result of the providence of God, and you will be able to live a life of virtue and peace. Continue reading “4 Mindset Shifts for Greater Peace & Productivity”

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Emotions, Spirituality, and the Gospel

Emotions drive our lives. They can drive us forward to accomplish great things, or they can drive us into a ditch. But they are the drivers. So, as we seek to live a life that connects to God and serve Him, we cannot neglect this important aspect of our lives.

Rafael Pardo’s book Emociones, Espiritualidad, y Evangelio helps us integrate our emotional life into our spiritual life. Pardo’s first goal is to help Christians embrace emotions as a positive force in the Christian spiritual life. He contends that they have often been neglected or downplayed. A simple example of this is the book of Job in the common Christian consciousness. Job’s famous statement is often remembered: “The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Viewed in abstraction, this phrase might seem to downplay the emotions associated with loss. However, the rest of the book of Job is all about his emotional struggles processing his great loss! The former is remembered. The latter is forgotten. Pardo wants to remind us of all the emotional struggles in the Bible, including those of Job and Jesus!

Emotions, according to Pardo, help us adapt to our environment. They begin with a cognitive evaluation of something as pleasurable or unpleasurable and move us toward the former and away from the latter.

The problem with emotions is that our cognitive evaluations are often wrong or irrational. Examples of irrational beliefs are “I cannot live without you,” “I should never make a mistake,” “no one should ever criticize me,” “everyone should like me,” etc. These irrational beliefs give us emotions that move us away from things that we should embrace or accept and toward things that we should move away from. Continue reading “Emotions, Spirituality, and the Gospel”

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