Category: Keeping Sane & Productive in an Insane World

The world conspires to make us crazy, stuck, and unproductive. How do we keep sane and productive?

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Emotions, Spirituality, and the Gospel

Emotions drive our lives. They can drive us forward to accomplish great things, or they can drive us into a ditch. But they are the drivers. So, as we seek to live a life that connects to God and serve Him, we cannot neglect this important aspect of our lives.

Rafael Pardo’s book Emociones, Espiritualidad, y Evangelio helps us integrate our emotional life into our spiritual life. Pardo’s first goal is to help Christians embrace emotions as a positive force in the Christian spiritual life. He contends that they have often been neglected or downplayed. A simple example of this is the book of Job in the common Christian consciousness. Job’s famous statement is often remembered: “The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Viewed in abstraction, this phrase might seem to downplay the emotions associated with loss. However, the rest of the book of Job is all about his emotional struggles processing his great loss! The former is remembered. The latter is forgotten. Pardo wants to remind us of all the emotional struggles in the Bible, including those of Job and Jesus!

Emotions, according to Pardo, help us adapt to our environment. They begin with a cognitive evaluation of something as pleasurable or unpleasurable and move us toward the former and away from the latter.

The problem with emotions is that our cognitive evaluations are often wrong or irrational. Examples of irrational beliefs are “I cannot live without you,” “I should never make a mistake,” “no one should ever criticize me,” “everyone should like me,” etc. These irrational beliefs give us emotions that move us away from things that we should embrace or accept and toward things that we should move away from. Continue reading “Emotions, Spirituality, and the Gospel”

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Calibrate Your Emotions to Reality

Emotions drive our lives. They are powerful forces that can impel us towards good activity. Unfortunately, they can also impel us toward destructive activity. Some of our best decisions and some of our worst decisions came out of strong emotions. Does it have to be this way?

Throughout the ages, philosophers, psychologists, and religious leaders have contemplated the problem of emotions. Here is a summation of their key finding: calibrate your emotions to reality. As Thomas Aquinas says when it comes to courage, “Hence it belongs to fortitude that man should moderate his fear according to reason, namely that he should fear what he ought, and when he ought, and so forth” (Q. 126, A. 2, 1718).

Our emotions may reflect reality, but they also may not. We do not need to take them at face value. Concretely:

  • If we are scared, it does not mean there is a real threat.
  • If we are sad, it does not mean that we have lost something.
  • If we are angry, it does not mean that there is an injustice.
  • If we are joyful, it does not mean that things are going well.

The reverse is also true. Continue reading “Calibrate Your Emotions to Reality”

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5 Perspectives to Get Us Unstuck

We’re about to start a new year. It’s time to think about new goals, new activities, and new habits. The trouble is, we often end up stuck in the same old ways of doing things. We start something new, and resistance sets in. It’s like we’re walking through deep mud and trying to climb up a steep bank. It seems like everything around us wants to keep us in the same old ruts.

The ancient philosophers of the Western world dealt with big abstract ideas, but they also thought through these common problems. I have found that they offer some ways to help us think differently about common problems that offer new perspectives. They are alternative perspectives on common problems that can help get us unstuck.

1. Change of habits takes time. Aristotle says “. . . men acquire many qualities neither by nature nor by teaching but by habituation, bad qualities if they are habituated to the bad, good if the good” (Eudemian Ethics, 1.1).

My comment: we look at many things we can’t do and think that we cannot do them because we cannot do them now. Aristotle observes that many things involve work over time, habituation. So, it would be better when looking at most things we cannot do to not say, “I cannot do that,” but rather to say, “I cannot do that today.” We can acquire new skills. They just take work over time.

2. How you think will determine how you live. “Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind, for the soul is dyed by the thoughts” (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.16).

My comment: the way that we think about things has a strong effect on how we feel about them. However, we can think differently about things and so feel differently about them. For example, we may look at mistakes as a disaster, and so we get angry at ourselves. However, we can think differently. We can accept that mistakes are a normal part of the human learning process. This makes it easier to keep going. That’s what these alternative ways of thinking are all about. If our thoughts shape the character of the soul, we can change our thoughts and consequently the character of our soul. Continue reading “5 Perspectives to Get Us Unstuck”

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Basic Life Rules Applied to the Time of Coronavirus

In March, it began to become clear that the novel coronavirus was going to hit our shores. It was going to cause major disruption. I felt pretty overwhelmed as I contemplated the changes that might take place. Eventually, I started applying the basic rules of life that I have applied to other difficulties. It made a difference. Over time, I was able to adjust and keep going with less anxiety. But people, including me, continue to struggle. So, I find myself needing to go back to my basic life rules in order to keep moving forward in joy and service.

Here are nine rules that I have applied to this time to help me live well. I continue to need them, and so I thought it would be useful for me, and hopefully to others, to reproduce what I wrote back in March.

  1. Don’t take responsibility for things you can’t change. You can’t solve every problem in the world. Let go of as much as you can.
  2. Do take responsibility in your area of responsibility. What are the things that am I most directly responsible for such as loving my wife, caring for my children, being a good neighbor, and being a good church member? Focus on these things. Continue reading “Basic Life Rules Applied to the Time of Coronavirus”
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Dealing with the Small Frustrations of Life

Do the small frustrations of life get you really upset or even angry?

How about traffic? Yesterday, I had to drive my daughter to The Island, an outdoor mall here in Pigeon Forge. Normally, I can do this in about 30 minutes. By the time I got to Teaster Road, I realized that this was going to take a lot longer. This was Rod Run. I saw the night I had planned begin to slip away. 30 minutes. 45 minutes. Finally, I arrived at the Island. Then, I headed home. Google found me a back way, but it was along a narrow, winding mountain road with a 20 mph speed limit in the dark. I almost thought of turning around and going through all the traffic. I made it home after more than an hour. Do these sorts of delays ever frustrate you?

What about grilling? Grilling is great, but there’s one problem. You never know when the propane will run out. So, you start the grill and start cooking the meat, and then you realize, there’s no flame! Now, you have to go out into all that Rod Run traffic and get more propane. Does stuff like that ever get you really upset?

These things can easily get me upset or frustrated, but I don’t want to be upset or frustrated by them. I’d really like to be able to meet these little inconveniences with equanimity. I’d like to be better at handling life’s little frustrations.

Fortunately, I’ve developed some tools to help me deal with these things better. These tools are different mindsets and different ways of looking at these problems. When I can look at these little frustrations with a different mindset rather than the emotional intensity of the moment, I can meet these small trials with greater peace. I know my mindset won’t change in a day or a week, but these things can help over time. Also, when I find myself losing composure, I can go back to them and calm myself down. Here’s three of these perspectives:

1. Ride the wave. In C.S. Lewis’ book Perelandra, we meet a new Adam and Eve freshly created and living on the planet Venus. It’s a new, unfallen, untainted human race. They live on little floating islands on a world of water. The mentality of the Lady, the Eve character, is that whatever the next wave brings is good because it is what Maleldil (God) wants. She says, “But how can one wish any of those waves not to reach us which Maleldil is rolling towards us?” She recognizes that whatever one expects, one can accept what God actually brings. This is where the wave takes you. Accept it as good because it comes from Maleldil. Continue reading “Dealing with the Small Frustrations of Life”

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