Tag: Anxiety

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Karen & the Subtlety of Pride

According to Wikipedia, the pejorative name “Karen” means, “a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary.” It is somewhat ironic that one of the best analyses I have found of Karens is from a woman named Karen.

Dr. Karen Horney (September 16, 1885–December 4, 1952) was a psychoanalyst. She was one of the pioneers of psychoanalysis. This is especially remarkable in that this field was dominated by men at the time.

What Dr. Karen noticed was that low self-esteem and self-loathing were not what they seemed to be. She asked, why do people have such low self-esteem? She suggests it begins with an idealized image of oneself: “Gradually and unconsciously, the imagination sets to work and creates in his mind an idealized image of himself. In this process he endows himself with unlimited powers and with exalted faculties: he becomes a hero, a genius, a supreme lover, a saint, a god” (Neurosis & Human Growth, 22). Continue reading “Karen & the Subtlety of Pride”

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In the Bible, Anxiety Is the Occasion of Sin

In the Bible, anxiety is the occasion for sin. Anxiety is not in itself sin, but it is the occasion that tempts us to sin. Thus, there is nothing wrong with seeing a threat, difficulty, or challenge. The question is, what do we do with it?

I believe that this is a true analysis of sin in our life based on several considerations. I was surprised, though, at how explicit this is in the Bible as I reviewed its various stories of sin. Here are just a few examples that demonstrate the connection between anxiety and sin. Continue reading “In the Bible, Anxiety Is the Occasion of Sin”

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Cicero: Clear Your Head So You Can Serve the Community

We do not exist for ourselves. We are made to serve the community. Serving the community is not always easy. The community does not always appreciate such service, but we should be willing to bear all sorts of hardships and all sorts of toil to serve the community. For, “justice is the single virtue which is mistress and queen of all virtues” (Cicero, On Obligations, 93). This is the opinion of Cicero, as he describes it in his book On Obligations or On Duties.

The key to understanding our obligations is to understand that we are not just an isolated individual. We are created for community and for service to the community:

I have often made the point earlier, but it must be repeated again and again: there is a bond of fellowship which in its widest sense exists between all members of the entire human race, an inner link between those of the same nation, and a still closer connection between those of the same state (107).

We are made for each other. Our destiny is not an individual one. It is to use our resources in service of those around us. As Cicero says, the interest of the individual is the interest of the community and vice versa. Continue reading “Cicero: Clear Your Head So You Can Serve the Community”

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Overfunctioning

Doing for others what they can and should do for themselves. Overfunctioning. This is one of the many helpful concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). In BFST, overfunctioning is not a moral category. It is a response to anxiety. The flip side of overfunctioning is underfunctioning. Underfunctioning is not doing what we can and should do for ourselves. This is also a response to anxiety in BFST, and it accompanies overfunctioning in a sort of reciprocity.

These are not necessarily bad ways of relating. Overfunctioning and underfunctioning get us involved with other people and reduce our anxiety. What they do not do is help other people grow. These reactions bring relief to anxious situations to a greater or lesser degree.

Like other responses to anxiety such as distancing and conflict, overfunctioning and underfunctioning can become problems when they produce symptoms. One of those symptoms may be the relationship itself. Overfunctioning can also keep us from focusing on the things that are within our power and are our responsibility. It can keep others from having to face their own responsibility.

Here are five quotes from practitioners of BFST that help to explain what overfunctioning is:

  1. “The pattern of overfunctioning and underfunctioning becomes a problem if chronic anxiety intensifies the emotional reactivity (overly sympathetic, overly caring, overly controlling) and drives the relationship interaction. These sorts of anxiety-driven interactions are based not on the realities of people’s capabilities but on anxiety and distorted perceptions” (Bowen Theory’s Secrets, xvii). Continue reading “Overfunctioning”
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Hardwiring Happiness

Our brains present an interesting paradox. When it comes to bad things, we worry about them and go over them again and again. When it comes to good things, we don’t even hold them in our mind for ten seconds.

Rick Hanson, in his helpful book Hardwiring Happiness deals at length with this paradox from the perspective of brain science.

Hanson notes that our brain “has a hair-trigger readiness to go negative to help you survive” (20). He describes the way our brain works this way, “when the least little thing goes wrong or could be trouble, the brain zooms in on it with a kind of tunnel vision that downplays everything else” (21).

In contrast, Hanson notes, our brains hardly give any attention to good experiences. “Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones” (27). Continue reading “Hardwiring Happiness”

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