Family

In every time period, the subject of the family is likely to set off intense emotions. In our own day, the family has become an intense political issue. This is all aggravated by the breakdown in family structure and the terrible pain often caused by it.

How can we find our way out of it?

Finding our way out of the messes in which we find our families requires a clear sense of the goals, ideals, or norms that a family should pursue.

In the book of Genesis, we have a picture of the family prior to the rupture of family relationships. This is helpful for our families and for the proper understanding of the book of Genesis. As you read through Genesis 3–50, you find a lot of messed up families and questionable family situations (like multiple wives). How are we to evaluate them? I believe that Genesis 1–2 gives us the answer.

Let me suggest 7 norms for the well-functioning family based on Genesis 1:26–2:25.

God is at the center of a well-functioning family. God made the family and blessed it (Gen. 1:26–28). Often families have trouble because they are only looking at one another and not seeing the God who is above them all. They seek from their families things only God can give. This creates frustration and struggle.
Children are a blessing. Children today are often viewed negatively, but God gave the command to be fruitful and multiply. He wanted more people on earth. “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3).

Continue reading “7 Norms for the Family”

Families are designed to help us learn to live with people who are different than us.

My 3rd child has started going to public school. That means that she is getting up earlier. What does she want to do in the morning? Talk. My wife and I like to quietly read and meditate in the morning, if possible. There’s nothing wrong with either preference. We’re just different.

But how are we going to deal with it? Can we tolerate the differences, live with them, and even thrive with them?

Sadly, many families don’t prepare people well for living with differences. Instead, they do one of three things. They either seek to suppress the differences, continually fight about them, or eventually flee from them.

The church is also designed to be a place where a diversity of people come together. A Christian is someone who believes in Jesus as the one who saves us from our predicament in sin and brings us to forgiveness and new life. Anyone can hear the message about Jesus, accept it, and become a Christian that very moment. Ideally, they also become a part of a particular community (i.e., the church) at that time.

When this happens, you have people who have a lot of different ideas, a lot of different backgrounds, and a lot of different experiences coming together to try and make the community work. Romans 14 describes the situation in the early Christian communities. The Christian teacher named Paul wrote to the Christian community in Rome describing this situation, “One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. . . . One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike” (Rom. 14:2, 5).

So, what are we to do with this diversity? The church has often tried the same things that families try: suppress the differences or continually fight about them. They also do what families sometimes do when these becomes too difficult. The differences are so hard to deal with that they just separate (which leaves them just as ill-equipped to deal with differences as before).

In the same letter, Paul gives some helpful instructions on how to live together in diversity. Here’s what he proposed:

Receive or accept each other. “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters” (Rom. 14:1). What if our basic stance toward others was to accept and receive them whatever their differences?
Do not have contempt for others. “The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them” (Rom. 14:3).

Continue reading “Living with Diversity”

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