Tag: Love

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The Benefit of Respecting Your Husband and Loving Your Wife

Just mentioning that wives should respect their husbands can be controversial. Who is a guy to think that he can tell women what they should do? What is the basis for telling wives that they should respect their husbands, let alone submit to them?

The basis is the Bible. The Apostle Paul wrote, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Eph. 5:33).

One irony of this verse is that when Paul wrote it, there was nothing less controversial than the idea that wives should respect and submit to their husbands. Everyone would have agreed with that. What would have seemed strange was the idea that the husband should love his wife and cherish her.

Today, the situation is reversed. The idea of a husband loving his wife is a no-brainer. The idea that a wife should respect her husband unconditionally seems strange and even wrong.

Yet there it is: husbands, love your wives. Wives, respect your husbands.

One reason that people may fear the language of unconditional respect is fear that husbands will misuse that respect and even abuse their wives. The problem with this perspective is what Dr. Emerson Eggerichs noted in his book Love and Respect. There are marriages where there are people of bad will. In such cases, the marriage may have to end. In cases of abuse, the spouse should draw clear boundaries and certainly seek safety where his or her life or health is threatened. What Dr. Eggerichs noted, however, was that many marriages of people of good will end as well. He wondered, why should this be the case?

This led him as a Pastor and Counselor to consider the verse that we just cited, Ephesians 5:33.

He then asked, why does it tell the husband and the wife to do two different things? Why the focus on love for the husband and respect for the wife? Continue reading “The Benefit of Respecting Your Husband and Loving Your Wife”

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Jesus Pursuing Zacchaeus

When I was young, I read and heard C.S. Lewis’ wonderful classic The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (hereafter LW&W). As a young boy, I was moved by the story of Peter.

Peter’s story is the classic story of a young and inexperienced on a quest. This person has to grow up in order to take leadership in meeting a great challenge. It’s a story of growth, and it’s a story that we all love, whether its form is Annie, Star Wars, or James and the Giant Peach.

A few years ago, I read LW&W out loud to my children, and I made an astonishing discovery. This book is not really about Peter at all. It’s all about Aslan. The title is not Peter, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.. It is The Lion, W&W.

Throughout LW&W, the focus is on what Aslan is going to do or is doing. Aslan wins the victory. Yes, some of the Narnians and Peter fight, but their role is relatively minor. It’s Aslan who defeats the witch and wins the fight.

I think that some of the Bible stories are like that. In the case of Zachaeus, we, as wee little children, were fascinated by the wee little man Zacchaeus who climbed a tree, which was something we also loved to do.

However, the “Zacchaeus” story is not really about Zacchaeus. It is about Jesus. Zacchaeus is there, but it is Jesus who is pursuing Zacchaeus and making things happen.

Zacchaeus was a tax collector for the Roman Empire, and he was no doubt a hated man. Sometimes we try to think about who Zacchaeus represents in our modern world. I think he represents me . . . and you . . . and every other human being on earth.

The God who created the universe comes down in human form to connect with us. He goes right up to us in the midst of a crowd and says, “Wes” or “David” or “Zacchaeus, I’m coming to your house today. I want to have a relationship with you.”

The conclusion of the story tells us this: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10).

It is God pursuing man.

Jewish Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel explains that this is what the Bible is all about. He writes, “Most theories of religion start out with defining the religious situation as man’s search for God . . . [but, a]ll of human history as described in the Bible may be summarized in one phrase: God is in search of man (emphasis his, God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism, p. 136).

The Christian faith concurs with this perspective and adds that God’s search is so intense that He became a human being. In Jesus, as the Zacchaeus story reveals, God is pursuing man. The God who made heaven and earth and governs it all in perfect wisdom is pursuing you.

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Why Community? Seven Important Perspectives on Community

It is not good for a person to be alone. That’s what God said about Adam when He created him. So, He created Eve.

God made human beings for community.

It’s easy, especially in this society, to isolate ourselves and think we can make it on our own. The irony is that we use more things that involve more people than at any time in history. The reason we can isolate ourselves is because of a huge amount of cooperation by thousands and thousands of people to give us the conveniences that enable us to “make it on our own.”

However, it’s not merely our physical well-being that is dependent on others. Our psychological and emotional well-being is dependent on interactions with others.

We need community.

Here are a few reflections on what this looks like in light of the biblical revelation.

1. Community reflects the image of God. Each individual is made in the image of God, but God is not merely one. God is three–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God is a community, and so human beings in their rational and emotional interaction with one another reflect that image.

2. Community manifests the glory of God when people come together in love, trust, and cooperation. To the degree that hatred, distrust, and tribalism characterize community, to that degree it does not reflect the glory of God.

3. Community that reflects God’s glory encourages diversity without compromising the truth. Truth is the foundation of the community, and humanity in its diversity is what reflects God’s glory most effectively. Both are needed.

4. Community must distinguish between primary and secondary truths. Primary truths are those that are necessary for the essence of the community. Secondary truths are areas where people can disagree and still be part of the community. It’s easy to confuse these things, and this confusion limits community.

5. Community is the only way for human beings to reach their full potential. Humans do not attain their potential without the influence of others, and humans are created for the love and service of others.

6. Community is worldwide but is manifested locally. It’s easy to love humanity in general. It’s harder to love individual human beings. However, it’s in real contact with real people that community is constructed and reflects the glory of God.

7. Community requires short-term and long-term connections. Community is established by thousands of short-term interactions. These are crucial. However, the depths of our hearts can only receive love and give love in long-term interactions. So, it is good to be part of community organizations, neighborhoods, and local churches.

All around us, there are message of self-fulfillment. God’s vision is much larger–corporate fulfillment and worldwide community. That is the heart of the mission of the church, and that is what reflects the glory of God most fully.

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Hardly Anybody Does This, But Everyone Should

Most people are concerned about their own interests, and it is hard for any of us to think much beyond them.

I remember one pastor had a plaque on his desk with a saying on it, “People are not against you. They are for themselves.”

As the Apostle Paul thought about the churches he had planted, he lamented, “Everyone looks out for his own interests, and not the interests of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 2:21).

Isn’t this true? How many of us are really able to think beyond our own prosperity and comfort? How many of us can sacrifice for a cause that is truly bigger than ourselves?

As a Pastor, I need to ask this, too. Would I care about the prosperity of the church I serve if I was not its Pastor? How much do I care about church in general? Do I participate in church activities when I’m not being paid?

If we’re honest, as Pastors, a lot of our interest in church is more self-interest than we realize.

Truly, everyone looks out for his own interests and not the interests of Jesus Christ.

Why are we so obsessed with our own interests? Continue reading “Hardly Anybody Does This, But Everyone Should”

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Love Needs Wisdom

Wisdom without love is worthless. Love without wisdom is not quite worthless, but it may be fruitless.

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, he told them that he prayed “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight” (1:9).

You often hear, just love people, and that’s all you need.

But that’s not all you need.

Sometimes people with the biggest heart are not as effective as they could be because they just move on emotions rather than thinking through what would be best. Continue reading “Love Needs Wisdom”

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