Tag: Suffering

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5 Lessons on Friendship from the Life of Jesus

Jesus never married, but he had a ton of friends. He saw relationships as important, and He nourished His need for companionship through friendship. That should make us take a second look at the importance of friendship, and there is no better place to do that than considering the friendships Jesus Himself had and what He said about them. Here are five lessons on friendship from the life of Jesus.

First, friendship has to be about something. Jesus took an interest in bigger things. He cared about the kingdom of God. So, He built friendships around this interest in God and His work in the world. C.S. Lewis captured this idea well:

The very condition of having friends is that we should want something else besides friends. Where the truthful answer to the question, Do you see the same truth? would be “I see nothing and I don’t care about the truth; I only want a friend,” no friendship can arise—though affection of course may. There would be nothing for the friendship to be about; and friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travellers (emphasis mine).

You don’t get friends by going around saying, “Will you be my friend?” You get friends by working on things together with other people. You have to have interests.

Second, friendship takes time. Jesus spent a ton of time with His disciples. Jesus chose twelve men in particular “to be with him and [that] he might send them out to preach” (Mark 3:14). This friendship grew over time.

This growth often involes overcoming challenges and experiencing suffering. Going through some difficult together can even accelerate the process of friendship building. You can hear the affection in Jesus’ voice at the Last Supper, “You are those who have stayed with me in my trials . . .” (Luke 22:28). Going through these trials and staying together is what builds the strongest friendships.

Third, friendships become one of the deepest relationships. Friendships begin with common interests, but they often develop some of the greatest affections and closest connections. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). This is often seen in the context of war, where soldiers develop an intense and deep commitment to their camarades in arms, but it is true whenever deep friendships develop. There is no “greater love” than the sacrificial love of a friend for another. This deep affection is so profound that Jesus used it to explain His own death on the cross for His people.

Fourth, friendships are an amazing resource. Friendships take time. The payoff is not always immediate. But for those who have built such friendships, they become a remarkable resource. Jesus said, “the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Jesus shared what He was up to and what was going on in His life with His friends. That’s what friendship is and can be for us. We don’t have to just keep things in. We have people with whom we can share them! When we share our burdens, they feel lighter. This is the resource of friendship.

Fifth, Jesus wants more friends. He could have had servants. Everyone is below Jesus. But He wanted friends. “I call you friends,” He told His disciples. And Jesus wants more friends. He wants you to be His friend. How? He wants to get you involved in what He’s doing in turning this world into the kingdom of God rather than the kingdom of darkness. He wants you to fish for people. He wants you to be with Him, be like Him, and do what He did, as John Mark Comer puts it in his recent book about being a follower of Jesus.

That’s really amazing news. The God of the universe became a human being to connect with us and make us His friends. Why would we refuse such an amazing offer? Why would He not engage in the actitivies He says are the best things we can do? Why would we not want such a friend?

But if we do, how do we do it? How do we develop a friendship with Jesus? The disciples lived with Him and walked around with Him physically. We cannot do that. So, how can we become friends with Jesus? That’s what I will explain in my next post.

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Why Should I Rejoice in My Suffering?

In Paul’s letter to the Roman Christians, he says that “we rejoice in our sufferings” (Romans 5:3). How can we possibly rejoice in the midst of death, job loss, rejection, sickness, or betrayal? Note very carefully. He does not say, “rejoice in spite of our sufferings.” He says, “rejoice in our sufferings.” It would seem that this is the last thing we can rejoice in. What could he mean by this crazy statement?

What he does not mean is that suffering itself is good. It’s not good to be hit in the jaw, get in a car wreck, or lose a friend. There has to be something else that is added to the suffering that would make us rejoice in it. In other words, suffering can be used for some purpose that would make it good for us.

Let’s take being hit in the jaw. If we were training for a boxing match, getting hit in the jaw might help us see a weakness in our defenses we might not have seen otherwise. Getting in a car wreck might lead us to a lifetime of more careful driving. Losing a friend may have been the loss of an unhelpful friendship. It also may have gotten us out of our shell in a way that opened up new possibilities and friendships that made us grow. Most of us have had experiences like this.

So, what is the good connected to suffering that Paul has in mind? The answer is found in the words “we rejoice in the glory of God.” This does not mean that we rejoice because we will see or experience God’s glory, even though we will. It means we rejoice that we will be made like God, i.e., we will have a character that reflects His good, loving, and just character. Continue reading “Why Should I Rejoice in My Suffering?”

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How Could a Good God Allow Suffering?

If you or someone you love has questions on this issue (as most of us do!), I would encourage you to read Pastor Tim Keller’s New York Times Bestseller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism. I really can’t recommend this book highly enough.

In this post, I’d like to summarize what Keller says about this important question: how could a good God allow suffering?

Whether you are a believer or unbeliever, it’s a question you’ve likely asked at some point in your life, maybe often.

Keller says that there are two ways we can ask this question. The first is intellectual. How can we logically say that a good God could allow evil? The second is emotional. We get angry at a God who would allow such evil.

Let’s consider what Keller says about each in turn.

The Intellectual Issue
In regard to the intellectual question, Keller begins with the objection of a philosopher who states essentially: “because there is much unjustifiable, pointless evil in the world, the traditional good and powerful God could not exist” (23). Continue reading “How Could a Good God Allow Suffering?”

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Basic Life Rules Applied to the Time of Coronavirus

In March, it began to become clear that the novel coronavirus was going to hit our shores. It was going to cause major disruption. I felt pretty overwhelmed as I contemplated the changes that might take place. Eventually, I started applying the basic rules of life that I have applied to other difficulties. It made a difference. Over time, I was able to adjust and keep going with less anxiety. But people, including me, continue to struggle. So, I find myself needing to go back to my basic life rules in order to keep moving forward in joy and service.

Here are nine rules that I have applied to this time to help me live well. I continue to need them, and so I thought it would be useful for me, and hopefully to others, to reproduce what I wrote back in March.

  1. Don’t take responsibility for things you can’t change. You can’t solve every problem in the world. Let go of as much as you can.
  2. Do take responsibility in your area of responsibility. What are the things that am I most directly responsible for such as loving my wife, caring for my children, being a good neighbor, and being a good church member? Focus on these things. Continue reading “Basic Life Rules Applied to the Time of Coronavirus”
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